~ Spotlight ~
Got Blood? We do. And as everyone knows new blood is simply the best. Within these pages we have wonder and fangs aplenty including a cyborg vampire in space, steampunk vamps, a werewolf PI, a vampire escalator, blood suckers in love, a study in orthodox vampirism, the undead at war and of course a cannabilistically incestuous vampire penguin from Coney Island. And that's just the beginning. Join New York Times Best Selling Author & multiple Bram Stoker award winner Jonathan Maberry, Bram Stoker Winner Linda Addison, fantasy legends C.J. Henderson and Rowena Morrill, award winners Danielle Ackley-McPhail and Brad Aiken, alongside some of the best writers in the business - James Chambers, William H. Horner III, Neal Levin & Darren Pearce, Jeff Lyman, Bernie Mojzes, Terri Osborne, K.T. Pinto, Diane Raetz, T.L. Randleman, Hildy Silverman, John Sunseri and Patrick Thomas - as they bring you tales of vampires you never dreamed existed and others that will forever haunt your nightmares. |
~ Excerpt ~
CANNIBALLY INCESTUOUS VAMPIRE PENGUIN FROM CONY ISLAND
By Diane Raetz and Patrick Thomas
It had been a long night and I stumbled toward the shower, dropping clothing across the apartment as I went. Janey would yell in the morning, but I didn’t care. With dawn fast approaching I was desperate to get the stench of a night of ‘investigative reporting’ with Stan and his beard off of me. Stan had been such a bastard during the attempted stake out that I’d been tempted to bite him. I would have except I was afraid that his greasy food and lice infested beard would bite back. I couldn’t afford to lose any blood. Being a vampire has its downsides. Dehydration is one. Plus, um, yuck. I shivered. Hanging around Stan in an alley trying to see into a Women in Black research facility was bad enough. Having his beard bite me would be worse than I could possibly imagine. Disgustingly enough he actually puts the lice in there so he can pass himself off as a homeless man more effectively.
My editor is a far more dedicated reporter than I am. I didn’t bother turning on the light—I can see in the dark just fine. I leaned into the shower without bothering to pull the curtains and turned on the water. As the room began to fill with steam I reached back and took off my bra. “Hey Dollface. Turn down the water temperature, would ya? It’s getting hot in here.” A whistle and then, “Nice bazongas, Doll. Forget about turning off the water. Instead hows about getting in here and rocking the boat with me?”
“What the hell?” I screamed and jumped ten feet into the air, crashed into the ceiling and wound up in the sink. Vampire startle reflex is a little extreme. “Who the…” I curled my body up into itself, trying to hide my nakedness, and looked wildly around.
“Dollface. Sweetheart. You okay? I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you saw me, sweetie pie.” The voice was coming from down, way down. Down, at the bottom of my shower, barely two feet tall, was a talking penguin. I blinked a couple of times, but the penguin didn’t disappear. It had to be a Monday.
“What the…” I didn’t get to finish my question. My roommate Janey and her boyfriend Chet burst into the bathroom.
“What’s wrong?” Janey had a bat in her hand and looked ready to use it.
I pointed mutely to the bottom of the shower, but I was too late. Instead I heard, “Whoa there, big boy. Take it easy now…” Chet—all seven foot two inches of him—in all his hairy but naked, glory had the penguin dangling from his hand.
“My eyes,” I cried trying to curl up into a ball on the countertop. I didn’t know what was worse—having spent the night with Stan’s beard, a talking penguin in the bathtub or seeing my roommate’s sasquatch boyfriend naked. I opened my eyes, flinched as I saw the naked man in front of me, and my head hit the mirror, shattering glass all over me. Lack of a reflection really throws off depth perception. Yup—it was definitely a Monday.
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