For I Am Zeus: Zeus tries to pick up a woman at a bar.
Master of Disguise: Zeus is reunited with a few of his past lovers...and they are not happy.
'Til Death Do Us Part: Zeus and Hera give marriage counseling a try.
God Standing: Zeus and God are the final two on a reality show (hosted
by Jesus) which will determine who is the most awesome god of all time.
Four's a Crowd: Zeus tries to talk his sisters into a four-way.
A Greek God Walks Into a Bar...: Zeus hosts a speed-dating night at his son's bar.
'Til Death Do Us Part
Setting: The office of Dr. Athena, marriage counselor.
At rise: ATHENA sits at her desk as HERA sits in a chair tapping her foot impatiently and glaring at the empty chair next to her.
I knew he would do this! The bastard’s always late!
I’m sure he’ll be here soon. He probably just got caught in traffic.
I doubt it.
You know, Hera, always assuming the worst about him could be a big factor in what’s wrong with your marriage.
I assume the worst because I know him. We have been together practically forever, after all. You’re just one of his dozens of children-you barely know him.
(ZEUS bursts in, his hair disheveled, leaves in his beard, and his toga inside-out.)
Sorry I’m late…I got stuck in traffic.
I would never lie to you!
Okay, Zeus…then why is your toga inside-out?
I got dressed in the dark.
All right, then why is your beard full of leaves?
The neighbor’s cat climbed up a tree and couldn’t get down, so I had to rescue it. I’m a hero!
Bullshit! The only way you would climb a tree is to have sex with something that’s at the top of it!
Hera, it isn’t healthy to make ridiculous accusations…
(Hera grabs Zeus’ arm and twists it behind his back.)
Oh, yeah, Zeus likes it rough!
(Hera twists harder.)
Not that rough!
Who did you have sex with?
(screaming in pain)
You violated our neighbor in a tree?!
Wow, that’s really inappropriate behavior.
She turned herself into a cat…what was I supposed to do?
She turned herself into a cat so she could climb the tree and get away from you! You weren’t supposed to follow her up there and force yourself on her anyway!
She wanted it! Everyone knows cats are whores!