Spotlight
Satan is sure that his overachieving son will run Hell someday, but his wife has a secret that may change everything. Jesus wants to quit his job to start a Christian metal band, and now it's up to God to find a new Messiah...but the person he has in mind doesn't want the job. Will God be able to find a suitable Messiah? Will Christian metal be as terrible as it sounds, or will Jesus take the music business by storm? Will Satan and Angel's relationship survive Angel's betrayal? You'll find answers to these questions and more (How did Judas end up with a courtroom TV show?) in Never Trust an Angel and Other Plays.
Excerpt
Never Trust an Angel
Setting: Hell, Satan and Angel’s kitchen.
At rise: ANGEL, a blonde woman dressed all in white, places a basket of muffins on a table set for three. SATAN enters, wearing a black suit with a red shirt and carrying a briefcase. Satan sets the briefcase down and kisses Angel on the cheek.
SATAN
Good morning, Angel!
ANGEL
Good morning! Have some breakfast-I made your favorite.
SATAN
Blueberry muffins?
ANGEL
Yep-and this time I used an extra-special ingredient…
SATAN
Love?
(Satan grabs a muffin and takes a big bite of it.)
ANGEL
You can’t put love in muffins, silly!
SATAN
It’s not worms again, is it?
ANGEL
No, I used cinnamon! Can you believe Hitler finally gave me his secret recipe?
SATAN
Do you really think you should be taking suggestions from Hitler? He’s the worst person here.
ANGEL
Oh, lighten up! He really mellowed out after he killed himself. Besides, it’s not like I got the recipe from Jeffrey Dahmer.
SATAN
I guess I should be thankful for that.
ANGEL
Although those chicken fingers he made were pretty good…
SATAN
That wasn’t chicken-didn’t you see the fingernails?
ANGEL
That’s funny, it tasted like chicken.
(looking at the remaining muffin half on Satan’s plate)
Aren’t you going to finish your muffin?
SATAN
I’m not really hungry.
(Satan pushes his plate away.)
SATAN (cont'd)
Shouldn’t Johnny be up by now?
ANGEL
He’s just working on his homework. He’ll be down soon.
SATAN
Johnny never waits until the last minute to finish his homework. Is he okay?
ANGEL
It’s next week’s homework.
SATAN
I should’ve known…
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